How to Help a Friend Cope

Grief is a natural reaction to loss. When we speak of grief, we usually mean the emotional impact caused by the death of a loved one. These feelings usually include denial, guilt, anger, loneliness and, finally, acceptance. Time alone cannot heal grief; it takes hard work and is a gradual process.

There are three main phases to grieving:

• Believe the death really happened.
• Experience the pain of grief.
• Learn to live without that person.

When someone dies, the person left behind may be in shock or denial. Rituals after death affirm that the death really happened. A funeral can help formally recognize and mourn the death. A grieving person must experience pain in order to begin healing. One must be willing to listen and give the bereaved the opportunity to express their feelings. The third phase in grieving is to learn to live without the person who died. The deceased played an important role in the day-to-day tasks, The living spouse needs to determine how to manage by identifying the tasks the spouse performed and finding solutions.

What You Can Say

Remember, the best support you can offer the bereaved is to listen and be understanding. You don t need to say much. You just need to be there for them.

What You Can Do

Following are some actions you can take to support the bereaved:

• Attend the service. Offer referrals to local support groups.
• Suggest resources and reading material.
• Volunteer to make phone calls.
• Help with transportation arrangements.
• Support rituals and rites of death.
• Make frequent contacts over the months.

Life is changed from the moment people are told about the death of a loved one. They feel helpless and powerless. Remember that anything you can do or say to offer support can only aid in their grieving process.

What You Can Write